Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
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He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
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The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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