dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
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We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
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Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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