She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
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Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
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I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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