I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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