It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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