apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize