I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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