I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize