it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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