If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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