She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
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