I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
it's like heaven, but drunker
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize