Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize