just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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