i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
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Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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