I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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