he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize