In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize