Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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