Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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