Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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