dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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