By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
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Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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