Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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