My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize