If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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