If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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