I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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