If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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