just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize