I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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