Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
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And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
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I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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