the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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