Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize