there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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