he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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