I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize