seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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