Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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