Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize