im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize