so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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