he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize