With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize