she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize