32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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