dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize