Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize