is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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