It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize